#Reverb11 / #WEverb11 Day 7 : Remember and Travel

What do you hope to remember? {via Kaileen}

&

Travel : Where did you travel? {via #WEverb11}

Today I get to combine prompts because my travels this year are directly connected to that which I hope to remember. This June, Mark and I flew to New Mexico for a giant family reunion with Mark's father's side of the family-- we're talking about 70 vivacious and loud Mexicans and their families. While we were excited to take a break from work and squeeze in a small vacation while we could, we were full of eye-rolls and cynicism surrounding the reunion part.  We just weren't that excited to go and see everyone, and all for a pretty juvenile reason: we were still hurt that vast majority of the family we were to be visiting had bailed on us when we got married a few years ago. Family who RSVP'd that they were going to be there didn't show up. Lots of others were missing without response. And after the wedding, we didn't hear a peep from anyone who wasn't there-- no card, no phone calls, not even an email. And it was painful for both my husband and me-- not because of the superficial reasons {the lost money over extra dinner plates, gifts}-- but because they are a group of people that say they place family at such a high importance, and we felt excluded and forgotten about on a day that was very important to us.

So, in summary, look closely at our shoulders and you'd definitely have seen a giant chip. We'd need a pool full of guacamole for that chip, I'm tellin' ya.

Once we arrived, there was a moment where we kind of just looked at each other and said, "Let's make the best of this, okay?" While some hurt naturally remained since we hadn't seen any of them in the time since the wedding, we weren't specifically trying to hold a grudge towards anyone.

From the moment we pulled up to Grandma and Grandpa's house in our rental car until we reluctantly walked out the door on the last day, we were showered in hugs and love and food and booze and tears {the happy kind}. There was such an outpouring of love towards Mark's grandparents for what they had created. None of us would have been there had it not been for the love between those two. And it was a palpable love, even after 60 years together. We watched Grandpa get choked up as he spoke his vows during their renewal ceremony, and laughed as he joked about how he ended up with eight kids. {After reminding us he's hard of hearing, he told us that Grandma used to ask him at night, "Do you want to go to sleep or what?" and he'd always reply, "What??" Thus the eight children!}. We chatted with cousins who had lost touch with the family but decided it was worth coming back for the reunion, and we met friends of Grandma and Grandpa who spoke of their generosity and open-door policy for anyone who ever needed a meal. We secretly scribbled notes of love and cheer on the garage door of Grandma and Grandpa's house, like a giant yearbook wall, which was joyfully presented to them after being led blindfolded to the front of the house on the evening of the party. The next morning we caught Grandpa standing by himself, quietly reading all the messages we left for them. A group of us dined at the gorgeous restaurant owned by Mark's aunt and uncle, walking in and mentioning the family name to the waiter, who immediately handed us all menus and said, "Of course, order anything you'd like, on the house." {Pure magic to this foodie's ears, and likely words that I won't hear again anytime soon.} We ordered one of everything off the appetizer menu and shared the small plates over stories, memories, and belly laughs. There was lots of drinking and swimming and playing with dogs and babies. Walking out the door after hugging everyone goodbye on our last day, Mark broke down in the rose garden--where Grandpa has planted 60 rose bushes, one for each year they've been married. He didn't have to tell me what he was feeling.

I want to remember all of this, every single bit. But most of all, I want to remember the melty, expansive feeling that comes when you let go of the hurt and allow yourself to feel the love that exists. That love is always there. The walls we put up around our hearts are ones we construct ourselves, and we can take them down.