Photo of Upright Citizen's Brigade by Jason Spiro via New York Mag
It's no secret that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are some of my favorite ladies
"Yes, and..." is a process in Improv theater where collaborators or stage mates build upon each other's previous statements. This encourages a snowball effect-- an actor offers something to the performance that the others pick up and run with. The actors all co-create and develop the scene, so the "yes and" process prevents the performance from stalling. "No" statements block progress, and do not allow for any new direction to be taken.
As soon as I learned about the "Yes and" process for improv, I was thinking about how applicable it is to everyday life, not just improv {although one could argue that all of our lives are just one big, ongoing improv performance, but I digress}. How much could we grow if we were more willing to say yes and then offering up more to others?
Generally speaking, I can be a cautious person with introverted tendencies. A person that likes to take time to research my options, to think things through. So, when someone suggests something new, I've often found myself saying "No because" or "Yes, BUT." If I apply this improv lesson to my life, what are my tendencies doing? They're stalling progress, they're blocking opportunities, they're not allowing for co-creation with others. Those moments where I say "No because" or "Yes but" act as spaces where insecurity, doubt or fear can creep in and make me lose my footing. "No's" and "Yes but's" are like two steps forwards and one step back. Or--even worse--standing still.
On the other hand, "Yes and" leaves space for deeper experiences or fresh inspiration, for collaboration, for twists and turns in our life stories, for engaging with others on a different or more meaningful level. And through all of this, others' experiences will be enriched by what we have to offer them through our own perspectives and ideas.
This philosophy can be applied to interactions with anyone-- partners, coworkers, peers, parents, friends, even in politics. I think of the times where I've felt too shy to attend a Meetup group. Or when a neighbor or my coffee shop barista has said something to me in passing that I didn't build upon. Or when I meet someone with a different worldview than my own. Or even my occasional crabbiness towards the banality of Facebook. When I look back at these examples using the "yes, and" philosophy, I realize that what I was doing was missing an offering or "yes, and" opportunity from others. It also makes me think of my experiences working in offices where there are inevitably those people who shoot down every idea that's put on the table. How much better off would we be if we could respond to a suggestion by saying, "Yes, that's a good idea, and what happens if we look at it from this angle?" Even if these ideas aren't employed in the business, the collaborative process is greatly benefited by embracing the "yes" attitude instead of stunting creative thought with "no's."
One clarification: I'm not advocating a "yes man" attitude, in which you give up your own personal authority because you feel like you have to passively accept or agree with everything that comes your way. Far from it. I think it's more about fostering an attitude of openness and a consciousness around our interactions, and noticing when offers and "yes, and" opportunities arise from others. If anything, it's just another tool to remind us to be present and think a little bit lighter and more spontaneously on our feet, which can only lead to a life full of varied experiences and connections with the people in our lives.
It's such a basic lesson, but one that is quite powerful to remember. Who knew that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey could make me reflect so much on my life?! Just another reason why they are so amazing ;)
PS - Knope 2012! I only wish I could really vote for her in 2012. I think she's better than the majority of politicians out there :)
Yes! I find myself saying no to a lot of things. Sometimes I just need to take a step back and ask myself "Why not?" It's very similar to your "yes, and" thoughts. :)
ReplyDeletewhat an inspiring post! I love, and need more of, the idea of 'yes, and'. I am the queen of 'yes, BUT'. No more!
ReplyDeletecaiti, i love what you have expressed in this post! so incredibly thoughtful.
ReplyDeletei teach improv in my drama class. "yes, and..." is one of the three basic improv ideas on which i focus. i use building blocks to show my kiddos how this response is essential for the construction of a vibrant, action-filled scene. i attempt to teach them how this response is an embrace, a rolling out of the welcome mat for whatever comes, an acceptance of your partner's offering. i also attempt to extend this idea beyond my classroom as an approach when working in collaboration with others. whenever possible, build rather than block.
i really appreciate the way you extended this idea into various areas of life as a way of being. i have been pondering creating a piece of art for our house that says "YES" and you have inspired me to do it. thank you!
xoxo
@Diane ~ Thanks so much for your perspective as a drama teacher! "Build rather than block." I'm definitely going to remember that phrase as well. Thank you! And definitely share if you create some "YES" artwork -- I'd love to see it!
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