Remember a few months ago when I bought The Joy Equation from Stratejoy? When I first got it, I worked diligently, keeping up with the daily journal prompts and listening to the weekly audio sessions. But as I am prone to do with e-courses, the program got pushed to the sidelines when I got busy with the rest of life. Somewhat tellingly, I stopped working on it in the "Cultivate Powerful Habits" section. {Nice work, Caiti, you clearly don't need any help with cultivating habits.} With about a week of the 30-day course left, I have picked it up once again with the hopes of actually finishing this time.
One of the things that is jumping out at me the most as I re-explore my Joy Equation guide is a section I completed on values. Molly's audio sessions guide you through the process of picking out the eight values that are most important to you in your life. Notice that I didn't say the eight values that are actually appearing in my life, because I likely wouldn't need to work through the Joy Equation if my core values were actually appearing on a somewhat regular basis.
As simple of an exercise it seems, it was incredibly eye-opening. I think we all instinctively *know* our values, but we don't place nearly enough thought into how to honor these values in our lives, and thus sometimes (or often) find ourselves feeling dissatisfied, uneasy and simply not quite ourselves. At least this is what is true for me, and became incredibly clear as I identified my eight values, as defined by me:
Connection: Being surrounded by people I love. Having bonds that are deeper than surface level. Being a part of a community. A strong family.
Authenticity: Being aligned with my core, speaking my truth even if it is hard to do. Being comfortable in my body and with myself. Having deeper, true relationships with people. Having integrity and honoring my commitments.
Creativity: Trying new things. Looking at situations with a unique perspective. Being a maker, using my hands. Expressing my vision. Self-expression, inspiration, beauty.
Thoughtfulness: Being intentional with my words and actions. Being able to see how we are all connected. Meditating on life and improving myself. Pondering, dreaming. Being mindful.
Compassion: Expressing care, empathy and love for others, even those I find difficult to love. Being sensitive to the lives and situations of others. Helping when I can.
Health: Feeling vibrant and alive. Emphasizing good, clean food, movement, stress-management and positive, strong relationships. Contributing to a healthy planet as well.
Calmness: A peaceful existence. Focusing on quiet, simple times. Being centered, balanced. Trust in things working out. Minimal, non-crowded environments. A sense of ease, comfort.
Learning: A focus on expanding my knowledge. Trying new things. Offering my knowledge to others. Openness to new ideas and viewpoints. Exploring new places, ideas and things.
Once I got that all down on paper, I looked around at my surroundings and circumstances. It's no wonder I feel something is "off." Months have gone by without seeing my family. My health has given me issues for the first time in at least 4 years, and it could have potential consequences to my future if I'm not proactive now. I work in a job and a field that, although familiar, still doesn't fit me and is simultaneously stressful and boring. I sometimes spend on the upwards of two and a half hours in the car commuting to and from work in a single day, in bumper-to-bumper Chicago traffic. Creative projects have piled up, untouched. The house is cluttered. There is just too much time spent lurking on Facebook and Twitter. The TV is on far too much, mainly used for zoning out at the end of a long day. Exhaustion and lethargy, although real, have been my excuse for not exercising more and for relying on a box of Annie's mac and cheese instead of making a real, healthy dinner. My blogging has been lacking the spark of inspiration it used to have.
This isn't meant to be a pity party or a "woe is me" list of complaints. Returning to this list has lit a fire in me to make some changes. Big ones. Because I'm realizing that just because I hold these particular values doesn't mean they will automatically find a place in my life. It takes work, it takes a commitment to what you want and deserve, and a conscious decision everyday to work towards the things that are important to you. I'm not okay with the status quo, not okay with quiet desperation. I want to define my own vision of success and fulfillment.
I'm in the midst of some changes and putting new practices into place with a renewed commitment, and I hope to share more about these with you all soon. After all, my Word of the Year for 2011 was "Cultivate," and with 3 1/2 months left of the year, I've gotta get crackin'!
I can relate to this. I recently did Kris Carr's "No TV for 30 Days Challenge" and really, not a big deal. I still DVR'd things, and when I looked at my box yesterday for the first time, I realized I didn't care about most of it. DELETE! I saved a few faves, and since I was sick, had a mini-marathon, but it definitely showed me that sometimes we watch things to a) numb out (like you said) and b) maybe it's a show we've watched for 5 years, but really, you don't care anymore, but you just can't let go. DELETE! I did more writing, social outings, started a new journal, clearing of the house, etc. in that period; amazing. Go for it, you can do it. :)
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@Shanna ~ I forgot about Kris's challenge; thanks for sharing your experience! I don't even have a DVR, which is great, but sometimes means that the stuff I do watch is even more mindless because I rely on whatever's on. And I totally have some "loyalty shows" that I don't really even like anymore but keep watching... Weeds pops into mind. Definitely done with that silliness!
ReplyDeleteLuckily, TV is only a small part of what I'd like to change. But I think it's a good universal example of how we can sometimes forget to be mindful about how our time is spent and what we want to achieve :)
The power we have to create our lives is simply....POWERFUL! You have already identified the areas of your life that need addressed. It will be exciting to see what inspiring things you put in their place! Waiting with baited breath! Take the leap, make the changes and realize that your "someday" is NOW!
ReplyDeletei have been thinking about this today and still feel like I need to think a little bit before i comment. but i wanted to let you know I appreciated it. always good to take a step back and reevaluate things. i never want to feel like I'm 'coasting' in life.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking about starting the Joy Equation. Do you like it so far? Do you think its a good course to pick up?
ReplyDeleteThis was such an incredibly powerful post. I can completely relate. I spend about 2.5 hours commuting as well to a job I can't stand. I use TV, the internet & other "time monsters" to zone out on. I've also been relying on retail therapy to fill the void/emptiness I'm feeling. And don't even get me started on my health. But I love how you say this is not a pity party. You have such a great attitude & have inspired me to stop complaining/whining & just take action. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI love your values enough that I could probably just print them out and use them as a guide for my own!! Compassion is one that I want to push and work on the most!! Although I am a very nice person, I find myself turning inward in most social situations, instead of opening up and giving to others and letting them know they're important. My goal is to open up more and do more of that!!
ReplyDeleteI have been collecting info on defining our values/truths/manifestos, etc. but I haven't set the time for doing it. Grr! Why do we do that? This post got me up and journaling again! Thanks for sharing your experience and inspiring me. :) I read a women's financial planning book from David Bach a few years ago. As a beginning step, the planner said that he asks his clients to define their values very specifically (like if you say security, you need to define exactly what that looks like, and what that looks like...etc). Defining these values can also help you reclaim what you spend your money on in addition to your time. I am sure this is a work in progress, but I am glad I am thinking about it again.
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