Happy Holidays!

Goodbye, friends! I'm signing off for the next several days to celebrate the holidays with various families in various states. And then I'm coming home and taking a very, very long and much needed winter's nap.

I wish you all a wonderful holiday season full of love and laughter.

#Reverb10 : Day 22 : Travel.

December 22 Travel : How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)

Image via WeHeartIt

First of all, three cheers for having a prompt that's not super introspective! I gotta say, #Reverb10 is wearing me down, y'all. There's only so much self-reflection I can do without wanting to commit myself to a psych ward.

Anywho.

I didn't travel as far and wide as I had hoped in 2010, due to pesky details like budgets and not having a job and all. For a perpetual wanderluster, this was challenging pill to swallow, especially after some incredible trips in 2009, including New Hampshire for Squam and beautiful Costa Rica. This year's budget restrictions didn't stop me from trawling on Kayak for deals or receiving daily emails from TravelZoo, though. I'm a bit masochistic like that.

We did manage to escape for a week to Charleston and Savannah in October, with a road trip back to Chicago by way of the Smokey Mountains. Our only other travels were a mini-trip to Iowa to visit family, and day trips to Starved Rock State Park for hiking. And I reminded myself to be a tourist in my own city.

We have some vague plans for travel in the works for 2011. A family reunion in New Mexico is slated for sometime during the summer. I'm also brewing up some secret plans to reunite with some of my Summit Sisters, and I not-so-secretly dream of attending Squam again in 2011 after having to cancel my registration this year. Mark and I constantly talk about our next for-fun trip, which has varied from a road trip through Maine to an overseas vacation in Spain. We came dangerously close to booking a tour to India through VegNews, but the package sold out before we could make up our minds. And, on top of all these vacations, we still hope to relocate to Portland or Seattle in the next few years.

But, as is typical of us, we have many more dreams than the time or money to make them happen (at least in the time span of one year, anyways). Wherever we end up, even if it's not farther than the Midwest, I know we'll have some fun and seek out new experiences.

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#Reverb10 : Day 21 : Future Self.

December 21 Future Self : Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Author: Jenny Blake)

Image via WeHeartIt

Dear Caiti,

I know you can't see it now, because you are knee-deep in the midst of it all, but you will come out of this difficult period in your life and look back... and you will laugh.

Every bump, every doubt and question, every moment that made you want to throw your hands up to the sky and wail, "Whyyyyyyy is this happening to meeeeeee?" will make perfect sense. Or, if not perfect sense, you will be able to see how these seemingly disparate puzzle pieces fit together and make up this new vision for your life. And I know it will be even better than you're expecting.

Let the challenges make you stronger. Keep doing the things you love and exploring your passions. Love the people in your life without reserve, because it will make your life all the richer. Keep rocking on the yoga mat and eating those gorgeous greens. Stop looking for the answers, because they will come and smack you in the face when you're least expecting it. And smile, everyday, even if you don't feel like it. Good things come to those who smile.

Love,
Your wiser, contented Future Self

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#Reverb10 : Day 20 : Beyond Avoidance.

December 20 Beyond Avoidance : What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

Image via WeHeartIt
Ugh... My impulse is to totally skip this prompt. I want to avoid the prompt about avoidance. This is a pretty good indication of how my entire year has been.

As much as I believe that we shouldn't live in the land of "shoulds," I find myself visiting this dark place on occasion, even though it usually leaves me with nothing more than a shame hangover.

I should have exercised more (but instead of just going, I quit the gym). I should have opened my Etsy shop. I should be more productive. I should have gone to those Meetups. I should have called my faraway friends more. I should have gone to Squam. And on and on.

But the fact is--I did what I did; it's all in the past now. And I can only control what happens today, and think about what kind of life I want to lead tomorrow.

When I think about what would make next year better, it would be a general openness towards taking more risks. While not worrying about the time or money involved, or how I feel out of my comfort zone, or how hard I tell myself something will be. As the cliched quote goes, you really do regret the things you did not do more than the things you did do.

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A Photo Story (Courtesy of my Mom!)

For Christmas this year, I sent my mom a gift box full of gluten-free treats from Mariposa Bakery. She received the box this last week, and emailed me a thank you note along with some photos of her and her friends enjoying an afternoon snack. It was too funny and I just had to share...







I love this SO MUCH. Can you guess who I inherited my goofy, creative genes from?? :)

#Reverb10 : Day 19 : Healing.

December 19 Healing : What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leoni Allen)

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"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are." :: Rachel Naomi Remen

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#Reverb10 : Day 18 : Try.

December 18 Try : What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

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For me, 2010 was the year of exploring, as I mentioned in the Day 1 prompt-- so there wasn't much that I didn't try. I sampled various e-courses, explored career paths, ventured into a yoga studio for the first time, blogged my way through new projects and new hobbies (like crocheting and pottery), and traveled to new places. I penned my life list, and proceeded to check a few things off it.

But where I'm lacking is in the follow-through. Anyone who knows me well would tell you that I'm great about starting a project (or a hundred), but not so great when the shiny, new feelings wear off the activity. I'm glad to have made acquaintances with so many new things, but I'll gladly say goodbye to some of them (adios pottery, knitting, and fiction writing!). Now that I've found activities that I truly enjoy-- yoga, photography, natural food cooking and mixed-media art-- I plan to focus on delving deeper into these things and getting to know more of their finer points and subtleties. If 2010 was the year of trying new things, I hope 2011 will be the year of "try, try again."

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#Reverb10 : Day 17 : Lesson Learned.

December 17 Lesson Learned : What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)


Vibrant Yoga Collage from macchick1 on Flickr, via WeHeartIt

The lesson I learned over and over this year is to listen to my body.

Listen as it tells me what nourishes it. What drains it. What energizes it. What challenges it.

After a year of being faced with major, life-changing events (the loss of my job, friendship tension, the health issues of loved ones), I found that turning inward became the one thing I could count on. Nourishing myself became a little way for me to tell myself, "everything's going to be okay." While I don't know what my future will bring, I do know that I can always get up every day and stretch my body, feed myself well and quiet the mental chatter. While I sometimes let myself become overwhelmed by stress, by and large, one healthy choice usually becomes another healthy choice. I embrace the wisdom in this, and I shudder to think about the ways I abused my body in the past. If only I could go back and tell my college self to ease up on the partying lifestyle and stop having Diet Pepsi and saltines for dinner!

I don't see this attitude stopping anytime in the future. But in the next year, I'd like to further develop a more regular exercise practice, and push a bit harder to work on some of the mental blocks I have.

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#Reverb10 : Day 16 : Friendship.

December 16 Friendship : How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)



This year's friendships can be summed up like this:
- Some people I expected to be in my life weren't there.
- Some people I didn't expect to be in my life came into my life, at just the right moments.

This year, I discovered that distance strengthens some friendships while eroding others.

I realized that it's a powerful thing to be your own best friend, and sometimes even necessary before being a friend to others. Sometimes this means distancing yourself from people who drain you or who can't see the love you have to offer.

I learned that you can find beautiful friends in unexpected places.

One friend in particular showed me that it's okay to be vulnerable, that random and overly verbose emails and handwritten letters can brighten an entire day (or, heck, an entire week), that allowing you to be your true self is one of the best gifts a friend can give you... and that all of this can happen after only having spent three and a half days together face-to-face, ever. Amazing.

And with those thoughts, I'm off to go pen her a Christmas card...

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#Reverb10 : Day 15 : Five Minutes.

December 15 Five Minutes : Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)



I want to remember...

The smile that crept at the corners of my mouth as my boss said,
"I'm sorry, but we have to let you go"
and the excitement as I stepped out of the office for the last time,
into the unknown.

The music of Mumford & Sons pounding through my veins. Goosebumps.
The bright white lights of their stage set
illuminating my face as it panned across the energized audience at the Riv.

Standing in my kitchen on a Saturday morning
surrounded by my CSA vegetables,
inspired by the possibilities.

Night walks next to my husband,
our favorite form of exercise
(with frequent detours to get gelato or a cookie for dessert).

The excitement of having a friend move out of our condo
after letting him stay, with his cat, rent-free,
for eight long, cramped, tense months.

Loving a sweet puppy, and losing a sweet puppy.
Remebering her wrinkly forehead
and floppy ears and exuberant Tigger bounces.

Hugging a friend upon his return from Afghanistan.
Hearing the words cancer-free from another friend.

An incredible homemade three-course dinner
made by my husband, with love,
comprised of some of my most favorite foods in the world.

Sitting on a patio in Charleston, South Carolina,
indulging in shrimp and grits and tea.
Exploring King Street and resting in Waterfront Park.

Looking for Forest Gump's bench in Savannah.
Wandering through streets canopied by Spanish moss.

Falling more in love with my husband, my town, my kitty, myself.

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#Reverb10 : Day 14 : Appreciate.

December 14 Appreciate : What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)




As much as I would love to write something deep and meaningful, I'm going to go with what popped into my head first. The thing I have come to appreciate the most this year is my town.

When we first bought our condo and moved here, I went through a period where I felt sad that I wasn't living the 20-something urban life in downtown Chicago--complete with a gorgeous loft with skyline views--like some of my friends were. I felt that my town was just a little too sleepy and geared more towards thirty- and forty-somethings with kids.

But this year has brought nothing but love for my sweet town. I love how I can walk to absolutely everything I need--the library, a cute theater, bookstores, restaurants, grocery stores, the post office. We use our car only about once every two weeks. I love the feeling of walking the streets--like blood running through veins, I feel a part of the heart of the town. The closest grocery store is my beloved Whole Foods, where I find myself at least once a week. The farmer's market is packed and energetic all summer long, and, in addition to the gorgeous produce, sells the best fresh-baked donuts in the world. You don't hear people ask, "What's a CSA?" but "Which CSA are you a part of?" Two of our favorite Mexican restaurants serve up food that's better than Rick Bayliss' Frontera Grill, and they're each only a few blocks away. The houses range from cute bungalows to stunning Victorians to the architectural notables of Frank Lloyd Wright. The town may not have a nightlife much past 10 pm, but, seriously, neither do I. It's nowhere near as crowded as Chicago neighborhoods, and unlike most of downtown, we have the luxury of having an actual park less than two blocks away. The people here believe in shopping local and sustainability and organic food. It's an old-fashioned vibe with liberal attitudes. And if I ever get a little stir-crazy, Chicago is only a short train-ride away.


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#Reverb10 : Day 13 : Action.

December 13 Action : When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

I have been a bit aimless over the past year because I'm not sure what I'm heading towards. I end up so overwhelmed by trying to figure out The Big Picture that I end up not doing much of anything.

For me, I think the key to action is two-fold: reminding myself that it's the journey and not the destination that matters, and taking little steps (or micro-movements) towards what I want to achieve while not worrying too much about The Big Picture.

And I need to focus on the right priorities.

For a long time now, I've put my career issues at the top of the list of things to worry about. I don't doubt that this happened because of the importance placed upon professional and monetary success by some people in my family. The most important areas of my own life, which include creativity, community, family, learning/education and wellness, have been neglected as I've focused on trying to solve my job issues within the confines of my background and training.

So I'm ready to try another approach. I'm ready to put The Big Picture in the closet for a time, while giving some well-deserved attention to these neglected areas. I want to start tutoring at a local school. Volunteer at a soup kitchen and the humane society. Actively participate in some crafty Meetups and the ChicagoVeg Meetup group. Continue my yoga practice.

I wouldn't be surprised if paying attention to the areas that mean the most to me will bring me the career/professional clarity I've been so wrapped up in finding.

I bet most people would say DUH! to something like that, but I've been so consumed with figuring out what I want professionally that I wouldn't let myself stray from the task. This book recently helped me realize that there are other career approaches out there for people who don't want to dedicate themselves to one job or career path.

I wish I could action-plan and organize and track my way to Figuring It All Out, but of course I know that's impossible anyways. So from here on out, I'll be trying my best to focus on the journey, not the destination.


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#Reverb10 : Day 12 : Body Integration.

December 12 Body Integration : This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

Ok, I admit, I'm pretty darn hippie--I have a meditation pillow, I do yoga, I eat quinoa, and I sometimes take echinacea pills when I'm feeling under the weather. But this prompt is crossing a little too far into new-age-y territory for me.

So, I don't even know how to answer this, but I'm going to try for the sake of being a completionist with this project. My body and I are kind of a packaged deal; there is no separation. My body allows me to do anything and everything I desire to do. There are times when my mind gets in the way, worrying and overthinking, and even in those circumstances my body lets me know through tense shoulders or headaches that I should ease up a little. In fact, the only times I don't feel connected to my body is when I want to do something but encounter my physical limits--such as when my movement was restricted due to a pulled hamstring or when I busted up my face when I tripped and fell earlier this year. Even in those cases, there was an inherent lesson--Rest! But in almost all other circumstances, my mind and body are integrated. Seeing, smelling, touching, feeling, experiencing, tasting, savoring, moving, loving.

I don't think that actually answers the prompt, but I'm ok with that. NEXT!

For the best response (in my opinion) to this prompt, read this post from Little Yawps: Body Integration (oh jeebus).

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#Reverb10 : Day 11 : Things.

December 11 Things : What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

1. Clutter. It's been a continual process throughout this year, and I'd like to continue weeding out the unnecessary. If it isn't beautiful or functional, it doesn't need to stay in my home, simple as that.

2. Over-thinking. I am a master at taking a problem--big or small--and going over every possible outcome a million times, which really only leads me to #3 below (inaction). I would like to practice using my intuition more rather than trying to rationalize decisions.

3. Inaction. First there's the kind that results from my over-thinking and leaves me unable to move forward in any sort of progressive fashion. My goal would be to do like Nike and "Just do it." The second type of inaction is more literal--I want to move my booty a bit more. While yoga has been a fantastic discovery this year, I'd like to try out a walk/run program again, hike, and use my bike more.

4. Time wasters. As much as I love the internet, I really need to do some reflection on how much time I want to be spending online. Because, right now, the internet is a big black hole that sucks me in and spits me back out hours later with no idea how I wasted so much time. This probably means trimming down my Google Reader (again), reaching for quality over quantity, and assessing whether I really need to bother maintaining social media profiles on sites I don't really enjoy (ahem, FACEBOOK, I'm looking at you).

5. Bad books/movies/tv shows. I'm already pretty good about this, but after sitting through the entirety of the gawd-awful Sex and the City 2 a few days ago, I'm making a rule that I will feel no guilt for abandoning bad media if it doesn't grab me within a fair amount of time.

6. Excuses. A few weeks ago, I listened to a Tranquility Du Jour podcast with the author of 168 Hours. She spoke about how people use the word "busy" as an excuse, when they really mean to say that they aren't doing something because it isn't a priority for them. I've begun noticing how and where I make excuses, saying things like "I'm too busy/tired/etc." or "I'd like to, BUT..." I'm thinking about how I can be more straightforward and honest in my communication and either take action as needed, no excuses, or to be comfortable admitting that something is not a priority for me.

7. Financial issues. "Issues" is probably too strong a word, because I really don't have money issues--it's more like money "indifference." I'm in a comfortable place financially, with all the grown-up things like savings, an emergency fund, a 401k, mutual funds and no debt. Other than being financially responsible, I haven't put a lot of thought into finances (which I realize is an incredibly privileged position to be in that I am very grateful for). I want to become more knowledgeable about money management and learn more about investing. This means working through a few personal issues surrounding money.

8. Wearing pajamas as clothes everyday. It's a silly little thing, but I know I'd feel a bit better each day if I take the time to actually get dressed instead of wearing pajamas on most days, even if I'm not dressing up for anyone but me.

9. An empty-ish calendar. Social activities were kind of on short supply this year. Over the course of the year, many friends (and myself) dealt with unemployment, another fought cancer, and another went to Afghanistan to work for a government contractor. Our get-togethers became quite infrequent, understandably so. But next year, I'd like to make time for social time with old friends, as our lives settle down again, as well as new friends. In the past, I've been timid about trying new things like crafty Meetup groups, book clubs, knitting groups and local tweetups, but I'm really willing to push my boundaries a bit and make some new friends with similar interests.

10. E-courses. This is a sad, but necessary, elimination that needs to happen. As much as I loved the e-courses I took this year, I ended up getting a little over-inspired and signing up for too much. I'm actually still working through some of them from months ago, and yet I keep seeing courses pop up that I find myself wanting to take. There's got to be a limit so that I don't use e-courses as a substitute for going out and taking real action. I'm going to limit myself to one or two courses during 2011.

11. Expectations. Whether it be with jobs, friends, or my relationships with others, I want to work on being the kind of person that thinks, and accepts, "Whatever happens, happens."

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#Reverb10 : Day 10 : Wisdom.

December 10 Wisdom : What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

I think the wisest decision I made this year was a general commitment to being creative.

When I was working at my last job, I knew that creativity was one of the major components that was missing for me (professionally and personally)--which led me to attend Squam Art Workshops in 2009, which inspired me to get back in touch with my creativity on a regular basis. And then I started this blog to document the process.

Initially, I thought I was just pursuing new or forgotten hobbies for the fun of it--things like art journaling, painting, photography, graphic design, and (of course) blogging. But the act of creating became much more important to my well-being than I ever would have expected.

Creativity was a companion to me through the often lonely days of unemployment. It has been a teacher, showing me how to look at everything with new eyes and be much more conscious of the present moment. It's helped me gain confidence in myself and my abilities. It allowed me to show my true colors and place a priority on being authentic.

Most importantly, creativity has made me believe that life really is a canvas, and we can create any kind of life we imagine if we proceed with open hearts.

This prompt initially made me cringe, because my year has been quite short on profound decision-making, especially lately. But I just need to keep reminding myself who's in charge of the paintbrush :) I can't wait to see what I can (and will!) create in 2011.

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#Reverb10 : Day 9 : Party.

December 9 Party : Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

Parties? Shenanigans? Rocking my socks off?

Been there, done that (and suffered through the hangover). And that's so not my scene.

I feel sort of embarrassed to admit this, as if somehow saying I'm not a party animal means that I don't know how to have fun. Hardly. But I have come to terms with the fact that I'm more suited to a book club than "da club."

But I think if I re-interpret the question as asking for moments in which I felt fully alive, enjoying every sight, sound and the people around me, then I have plenty of experiences to pick from.

- I saw Mumford & Sons perform at the Riviera Theater on Halloween night.
- Mark and I enjoyed fine-dining experiences and incredible meals at North Pond in February, Arun's in March, and Frontera Grill and NAHA in August.
- I felt victorious and proud on the day I submitted my last student loan payment.
- We had a sushi-making party and taught our friends how to make rolls.
- And we've still got one more coming up... A good friend--who fought and beat cancer this year--is getting married on New Year's Eve, and I'm sure that will be a party, in the truest sense of the word!

I've definitely replaced the wild, crowded parties and alcohol-fueled nights of my college days with quieter dinner parties, good company, and great food. Sometimes being a grown-up rocks.

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#Reverb10 : Day 8 : Beautifully Different.

December 8 Beautifully Different : Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

I think many of us have had the experience where we were made to feel that different = bad. At various times throughout my life, I was labeled too quiet, a loner, difficult, unfocused, thin-skinned, a bleeding-heart liberal, weird, uncool, a nerd.

And now, I just want to blow raspberries at all those people who put me in those boxes and made me feel "less than." Because I've come to learn that our quirks are what make us so complex and beautiful.

I may be quiet, but that means that I choose my words carefully, and I'm a pretty good listener. And my thin-skinned bleeding-heart? It shows that I am fully of empathy and want to do good in the world and always tend to side with the underdog. And a nerd? YES, I'M A NERD, AND I WOULDN'T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY! :)

I am supremely sarcastic. I talk to my cat A LOT. I care about the environment. I love my husband, family, and friends. I have a million different interests. I am complex and emotional. I love to do my own thing, off in my own little world. I'm an ideas person, *not* a details person. I wither in cubicles under artificial lighting. I'm a huge fan of afternoon naps. I crave authentic relationships. I don't trust easily, but once I do, I have a deep well of love.

My quirks make me beautiful. And your quirks make YOU beautiful.

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First Snow : Winter Walk

This past Saturday brought the first significant snowfall of the year. I watched it fall steadily from the warmth of my living room, but as soon as it slowed down, I jumped outside with my camera to capture the snow in it's pristine, untouched glory. A stack of snow was perched two inches high on every surface, making for a beautiful contrast against the trees and buildings below. We walked until our cheeks and noses were rosy, and then returned home to curl up inside a cocoon of blankets.

#Reverb10 : Day 7 : Community.

December 7 Community : Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

In short, the blog community has been an amazing part of my life recently. After spending years as just a lurky blog reader, I finally jumped head first into writing my own blog, commenting on others' blogs, participating in e-courses, and generally connecting with people around the world. What I find most amazing is how I've managed to find people who care about typography as much as I do, who love to take pictures of the pretty meals they cook, who desire authentic and soulful relationships, who support each other, and who love to create. It's really amazing, especially for someone who has struggled in years past to find like-minded individuals to befriend.

At the same time, I know I need to foster a stronger community in my real life. While I have a few friends in the area, they are more of the types to go out to dinner or drinks with and don't really understand my art/yoga/creative/hippie lifestyle. It makes me wish it was possible to gather all my blogger friends together in one place and have one big artsy-craftsy-laughter-fun fest, but since that isn't really possible, I will be working on finding more of these creative souls to be a part of my off-line life in 2011. I had a few great experiences this year meeting up with bloggers I met online, so I hope that will be something that happens again next year! I'll have to push aside my introvert tendencies a bit to make these connections, which can often be challenging for me, but I know the rewards will be amazing when I'm surrounded by vibrant, inspiring people. :)

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#Reverb10 : Day 6 : Make.

December 6 Make : What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

This year has been all about "making." After attending Squam in September of 2009 and being completely inspired to get back in touch with my creativity, I started this blog on New Year's Eve 2009 as a way to be accountable for placing a priority on creating, making, exploring and inventing.

And throughout the year, these actions have come to shape my life view. As I describe on my "about me page" (penned mid-way through this year), I am committed to the notion that we are the artists for our lives, and I know that I want to create a life full of color, vibrancy, passion, exploration, and authenticity.

Because of this intention, I've found that so many things I do are creative acts in and of themselves. And not just the obvious things like paintings, art journals, or my graphic design work (although those have been constants throughout the year). Meals are not just food to be eaten, but creations full of flavor and vibrancy. Outfits--when I manage to pull myself together!--are explorations of texture and pattern. My attitude has certainly benefited from this intention to create as well, because I am more constantly focused on trying to bring my authentic viewpoint and true colors out into the world.

Next year: I'd love to make time for yoga. I have the feeling that this simply means getting up earlier in the morning :)

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Dear Santa . . .

After a year of trying to simplify and whittle down my belongings, I certainly don't need anything for Christmas. In fact, all I'm asking for this year is donations to "Mark and Caiti's bed fund"-- we're hoping to upgrade our old, full-size bed to an actual adult queen bed with a proper headboard... and, holy hell, mattresses are expensive!

So my "wish list" this year is purely of the fantasy variety, just for fun. Because, really, I need another coat like I need a hole in the head. I admit, it's still fun to bookmark all the pretty eye-candy out there and carefully pick my favorites. It reminds me of my childhood-- but instead of the JC Penny's Christmas catalog, I'm browsing blogs and bookmarking internet pages, and compiling my list in Photoshop. My how things have changed!



1. Black Poppy Flower Locket by MStevensonDesigns, $34.50
2. Tiny Canvas Prints by TushTush, $20 each
3. Nutcase Striped Helmet from Public, $55
4. Vitamix CIA Professional blender, $495
5. Canon lenses from Amazon, $300+ {I'm wising for a 85mm f/1.8 and a 100mm f/2.8 Macro, among others :) }
6. Cym & Ripple coat from Anthropologie, $188 (or the Tiers for Good Luck coat from Modcloth, $121.99)
7. 2011 CD Case Desk Calendar by AlexWijnen, $15
8. 2011 Weekly Planner by PapayaArt, $24
9. Necklace by UrbanLegend, $25 {This one is called Cantaloupe, which is my favorite but it sold out. Poo!}
+. Rose Camera Bag in Marigold by Jo Totes, $89
!. The world's best peanut butter from the amazing restaurant Hell's Kitchen in Minneapolis, MN, $9

Are there any fantasy or dream items you're wishing for this year?

#Reverb10 : Day 5 : Let Go.

December 5 Let Go : What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

Holy cow, this is a hard one for me to write. But I'm going to try to push through...

Much of this year has been defined by the words "let go." I've uttered those words dozens of times, but mostly in the context of "I've been let go from my job," uttered with a tone of embarrassment and a sense of rejection. But that's hardly an empowering phrase, is it? Aside from being let go from my job, there are a few things I have let go of in the true sense of the phrase--consciously released for the betterment of my life and mental state.

Belongings: I've been so inspired by the minimalist movement that has emerged online over the past few years, and it has made me think a great deal about what is important. "Stuff" and clutter only causes me stress, and I have made huge strides towards eliminating the unnecessary and thinking carefully about the types of things I want to allow into my life. This mental process has been applied to lots of other areas, such as my thoughts and relationships (which I talk about below).

Stories: Thanks to taking part in Kate's Courageous Year soon after my layoff, I learned to examine the thoughts and stories that unconsciously run through my head. I've worked to eliminate the ones that don't serve me. I can't say all of these stories have disappeared, but being more aware of this type of mental clutter gives it a little less power over me.

People: This has been a less formal letting go process, and I don't even think that it is a permanent state. I have given space to a few people in my life and allowed the friendships some breathing room. Rather than be sad over the distance or lack of responses to my calls/emails, I have released the expectations that the relationships should be a certain way. If we are meant to be in each other lives, we will be.

Bad Habits: Starting at the end of 2009, I began to focus on how my body feels and started to let go of the bad habits that were keeping me from feeling my best. For me, this meant giving up meat for the most part (since it gave me digestion problems), switching to almond milk from cow's milk, and focusing on organic, whole foods. I gladly eliminated caffeine, alcohol, soda, and most packaged foods. I also tried out yoga with both home and studio practices.

But even with the things I've let go of, I still feel like there is SO much more to work on in the future. I've been afraid of taking risks and making mistakes. I've put pressure on myself to "figure it all out" (even knowing fully well that pretty much no one has it all figured out). I'd really like to let go of so much more in 2011, rather than hold onto the worry, anxiety and stress so tightly.

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This post is a part of #Reverb10. For more information or to sign up, head here.

#Reverb10 : Day 4 : Wonder

December 4 Wonder : How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeff Davis)


I savored the quiet moments.


I lost myself in books.


I marveled at my city.


I nourished.


I lost myself in art.


I spent time in nature.


I Unravelled, learned to Fly, got Courageous, and lit a Fire.


I invited peace in to stay a while.


I explored new places.


I noticed the small bits of beauty.


And the big bits.


I looked for art everywhere.


I envisioned.


I cherished every moment.

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This post is a part of #Reverb10. For more information or to sign up, head here.